Shock

Well, I think I have finally picked myself up off the floor---No, I think I’m still there.  Yesterday was Josiah’s 11 month birthday and what a present he got!  After being quite a few days late, I decided to share with Chris that I was having some concerns.  Chris said that he would go pick up a pregnancy test, so I would have a peace of mind that I wasn’t pregnant.  We have been so intentional about not having a second child yet, so it was a test to just show that I wasn’t pregnant and I was skipping my period for the month.  I know my body is still a little out of whack from having Josiah.  Well, I took the first test and it came back ‘positive’ in my eyes and an ‘invalid result’ in Chris’ eyes---one of the lines was a little faint.  So off to the store he went again to pick up some more pregnancy tests—this time he got a three pack instead of single one.  I went and took another test and couldn’t believe the results—it was a clear ‘positive.’  I stayed in shock most of the evening and didn’t sleep most of the night.  This morning I got up and took one more test hoping that the other two were wrong, but it came back ‘positive’ again. 

All I can say is God sure does have a sense of humor.  Chris and I both agreed that we wouldn’t be having Baby G #2 until he had a full time position at a church.  I guess what we wanted really didn’t matter.  I am definitely scared and anxious.  I’ve always wanted to be a mom and have quite a few children.  I just wasn’t expecting it this soon.  We’re still trying to figure Josiah out.  I know that God has a plan and doesn’t give us more than we can bear---I was just hoping we would have a little say in the matter.  I know after the shock wears off, I will be just as excited about this baby as I was about Josiah.  I guess yesterday when I wrote about continuing to pray for us, God knew I needed to write that request. 

I will be posting this entry after we go to the doctor to confirm that the HPTs are accurate.  We are going to try to make an appointment with Dr. Bob, while we are in NC in June.  He gave us the test for Josiah, so we couldn’t think of a better person to do it again. 

Well, that is all for now.  I have a feeling that I will be clinging to Jeremiah 29:11-13a over the next few days.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.  You will seek me and find me.”